Ten Things I Learned In 2012

1. Honor Your Parents. It may seem basic, but this leads to a whole new level of freedom. At this time last year, my parents pretty much reached the end of their rope in pleading me to get a higher-paying job. The job I had at the time was fulfilling, but it still kept me very dependent on them financially. Today I am working as full-time student by day and a part-time employee by night. When I made the conscious decision to honor my parents earlier this year, my pastor said “I believe that God will make a way for you to honor Him and honor your parents at the same time.” Three days later the next ten years of my life was revealed to me in the way of education reform, through the path of schooling. This work belongs to me. My mantra of “I love learning but I hate school” has been the paradox I have lived with all my life. To make the decision to go back to school and finish was a decision based on honoring God, honoring my parents, honoring myself, and honoring posterity. The future will be in order when I myself am in order. My motivation for finishing school is not as much for the sake of job security but moreso for the sake of professional credibility. I chose sociology for my BA because I love people and I love understanding people. Martin Luther King, Jr. got his BA in sociology before getting his Ph.D in systematic theology and revolutionizing the world. Yes, I am in school to honor my parents, but in doing so I am also honoring myself and honoring my destiny to reform education.

2.The Value of School. Ever since I was in third grade, I knew there was something wrong with this system. Why is it that some people can leave school and become millionaires – even billionaires – while the rest graduate and end up working for the millionaires and billionaires? As a young man in my twenties I swore I was never going to spend my life working for someone else, building their dream instead of my own. Now at thirty-one I am back at school. It may seem like a contradiction to one of my core values, but it also may be a sign of maturity. I went back to school because in February of this year I was asked, “Where do you see yourself in ten years?” I used to think of that question a lot, but for the past seven years I stopped. To make a long story short, in ten years I would love to be the head of the Department of Education, or in some other way make changes to the way our country educates our students. There is a sense of credibility that school brings. Either way, it is good to be a product of the system before I help reform it.

3. The Value of Work. Some people say that the harder you work, the more money you’ll make. If this were true, many of the janitors around the world would be millionaires. The fact is there is no correlation between how hard you work on a job and how much money you have in the bank. The correlation is between how many assets you have in your portfolio that is working hard for you, whether you work or not. This is why Justin Beiber can work hard one time on one album and make millions of dollars instead of clocking in and out forty hours a week and get pennies. Having said that, I learned that if you don’t have a plan to collect your asset of choice (or for whatever reason not willing to collect your asset of choice) then it is better to join the rat-race, “pass go and collect $200” every two weeks like any other respectable citizen until you find the determination and boldness to do so.  


4. P.Cleaveland: “People around you are more at ease when they know where you are going.” Pastor Cleaveland was a guest speaker at my church last year, and he said some things that really stuck to me. Although he said this in 2011 it really manifested in my life this year. As a young man who refuses to devote my life to mediocrity, I am often faced with challenges from people who don’t know where I’m going, where I’m headed, or what my motivations are. I could be at ease with myself all I want, but if the people around me are not at ease as well then there is an unsettledness about things. When I answered the question I was posed with in February of this year, something magical happened. It seemed as though what was in my head and heart was finally being seen by those around me. More people understood who I was and where I was going. They were more at ease. Not only that but doors began to open that were once shut. “People want to know where you are going before you get there.” This is also true with traffic laws. When we are driving behind a car in front of us, we want them to signal before they turn, preferably many feet in advance especially if they are driving particularly fast. This gives us time to adjust, to prepare, and to make our move accordingly. This year, I learned that the same goes with life. 

5. Knowing Your Personality Letters. I have taken the Myers-Briggs personality test many years ago, and I was happy with my result: ENFJ – Extrovert, iNtuition, Feeling, Judging. This is a great combination, especially to those in leadership. This year however, I took it again and I was very surprised, even shocked. I went from ENFJ to INFP! Introvert, iNtuition, Feeling, Perceiving. Upon reflecting I realized that when I was an ENFJ I was in school in a very structured and accountable environment. I realized that that environment effected my confidence and self-esteem because my progress was measurable. It was only when I placed myself outside of the realm of accountability where I became less effective. Now that I realize this I prefer being in an accountable environment (i.e. going to school and going to work) because it helps me be more confident and effective.

6. Knowing Your Personality Color. In the summer of this year I staffed at National Teen Leadership Program, one of my favorite leadership camps I am honored to be a part of. One particular exercise we did was Personality Colors. This is a powerful workshop that helps you understand how you are, how others are, and how to work better as a team:

                                        Green: analytical

                                        Blue: emotional

                                       Orange: fun

                                       Gold: organized

I learned that I was Blue, but moreso I learned that I want to be more Gold. The exercise revealed something about myself but also gave me something to shoot for as I seek to improve myself. I thank Laura Segura and Sophia Coria for this wonderful workshop. 2013 will be a Gold year for me. =)

7. Knowing Your Conflict-Resolution Animal. In the fall of this year I attended a leadership seminar at CSUEB. It was better than I expected. One of the workshops I went to correlated with the Personality Color workshop I attended a few months prior. This exercise however, taught me about conflict-resolution and different ways of handling them. Each style has its own animal:

                   Shark: handles conflict in a cold way, with no regard to empathy.

                  Teddy Bear: a people-pleaser; does not like making enemies.

                  Turtle: hides in the face of conflict.

                 Fox: is not afraid of conflict, always handles it in a diplomatic, strategic manner.

I learned that I was a Teddy Bear / Turtle, and I don’t like it. I want to be more like a Fox, and 2013 may serve as a great year to do so.

8. Paolo Friere: “If the work does not belong to them, the person cannot be fulfilled.” At NTLP I met Calvin Terrell, an incredibly well-cultured speaker and revolutionary. When I expressed to him my passion of education reform, he recommended the book Pedagogy of the Oppressed by Paolo Friere. One of the lessons I learned from that book was the importance of doing work that is important to yourself. In the past few years I worked as a medical assistant and a ministry leader, and now I am currently working as a full-time student by day and part-time employee by night. I believe that reforming education is a work the belongs to me, and I am so excited to devote a good portion of my life to making sure that work gets done.


9. Be Aware of Your Strengths, But Don’t Depend on Them. So far three of the eight things I have learned this year have been based on knowing my personality letters, personality colors, and my conflict-style animal. One of the biggest things I have learned this year was being aware of my strengths, but not depending on them. This is what I mean: as a recovering ENFJ, I have been very outgoing and gregarious, proactive in building relationships and seeking the improvement of maintaining them. In thirty-one years, my realm of direct influence has reached approximate-ly 2,200 people (including people I grew up with, people I went to school with, former co-workers, current co-workers, friends, family, relatives, business associates, etc.). That’s a lot of people. One of my main strengths is the ability to connect with people and the ability to build networks. I’m a networker. Having said that, one would think that a networker with that much influence would be able to find a job in no time. This year, such was not the case. I left my full-time job at the church in February, seeking employment every day, tapping my network, utilizing resources, and yet I have only now just landed a secure part-time job, which is turning out to be not as secure as I expected. The fact is I was very confident in knowing many people in high places, but despite that fact doors continued to remain closed to me. It was not that I could not open some of them; I did. Those doors unfortunately led to rooms that were not meant for me to stay in. From February to October doors would open and doors would close. One of my favorite tv shows growing up was Perfect Strangers with Larry Appleton and Balki Bartakomus. In the introduction of the show, Larry and Balki entered a building’s revolving door only to end up right back out. For me much of 2012 was characterized by that revolving door: eight months of job-hunting only to be released again. Each job chipped away at my confidence, lowered more of my standards, and drained more of my ego. Finally in the third quarter of the year I was able to maintain a job I could do well in with a company I respect. The lesson I learned in all of this is this:

“Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,” declares the Lord (Jer 9:23-24).  

The enemy always attacks you in your place of strength.  Networking is a strength that I have, but that strength did not lead me to where I wanted to go. My eight months of effort led me to a closer revelation of God, that He is not just one who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, but He is one who is my provider. The term “Lord” is old english for “loaf ward” or “keeper of the bread.” Many of us believe that we provide our own bread, when in fact it is the Lord who gives us the ability to make the bread. As we honor Him, He makes ways for us to be provided for in ways we do not expect. I learned not to depend on my strengths, but to depend on God. “He who trusts in himself is a fool,
but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe.” (Prov 28:26)  I am learning not to be a fool. In 2013 I determine not to be. Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. As I walk in wisdom, I am kept safe.

10.  The Value of Reputation. I used to think that I did not care what people thought about me. I have grown to learn that in fact, I do care, very much so. People who say they don’t care what people think about them probably lie about other things too. The reality is we do care. If not, many of us would go around for weeks and months without showering, putting on clothes, and (for ladies) putting on makeup. We do care what people think about us. What is important is learning to be the type of person whose reputation precedes you. “A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold” (Prov 22:1). We live in a day and age where everyone wants to share everything to the whole world, in many different media platforms, beit Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, etc. The lifeblood of being in business nowadays feeds off reputation. A customer’s review on Yelp can make or break a company. A customer’s feedback on eBay will determine your value as an entrepreneur in e-commerce. Reputation can be a two-edged sword. If you are reading this and realize that you have a reputation for something you would rather change, the good news is that you can! Everyone can. Sure, it’s not easy. It may be like trying to turn the Titanic right when it has been going left this whole time, but it’s not impossible. The iceberg can be avoided. In fact, the Titanic reputation of your life is based upon whatever choices you made in the past. The future is still ahead and the choice is still up to you whether you sink or sail. For me, I want 2013 to be better than 2012, and I am deciding today to make sure that it is so. This year I learned that I was a Blue, INFP, Turtle-Teddy Bear. Next year I want to begin a new reputation of being a Gold, ENFJ, Fox and I have already made steps to do so.   

November Briefings...

I usually try to post a blog once a month, but it looks like I missed this month's entry. It's a good thing though, because school and work has really been keeping me focused. 

Here are just a few things that's on my mind:

Zig Ziglar died.

Dad turned 60.

Mom retired.

I’ve been doing really well in school and work, and it’s been keeping me disciplined and focused, which is what I’ve been needing forquite a while now. 

More on these later! =)

An Evening with Adam

Today, I heard Adam Leipzig speak on “Hollywood Creativity and Entrepreneurship.” Mr. Leipzig stood about 5’7”, 5’8” and delivered a timely and refreshing message, not with fervor and intensity, but with poise and a gentleness that invited and challenged the listeners to transform society “ten percent over the next ten years.” The challenge was presented, and I accepted the challenge.

Adam Leipzig is the Senior Vice President of Walt Disney Studios and President of National Geographic Films, with successes including "Dead Poets Society" and "March of the Penguins." He spoke about “niches” and “micro-niches,” and revealed to us the value of vulnerability: “The thing that the world wants most is the most vulnerable thing you have... What if you made a small difference over a medium length of time?”

The highlight of the evening was when Mr. Leipzig opened the floor for questions, and I was offered the mic. I used the 30 second window to introduce myself, sharing that I am a student whose desire is to reform education and who was inspired by a man teaching calculus on YouTube who has a world-wide classroom. Mr. Leipzig, being an advocate of “strengths-management” asked me what I was “superbly good at,” in which I could go home this evening and upload an instruction video that would immediately gain 5 students. I answered “networking,” after a few moments of hesitation.

After the talk, I lingered for a bit. I did this purposefully, because I knew that I would find at least one person who would come up to me with some valuable information after I declared my intention to the room, on air, and online. This person did, in fact, appear. “Are you the education guy?” she asked. “That’s me!” “Have you heard of Udacity?” (I, in fact, did. I just read about them a few weeks ago in a magazine article.) “Ben Nelson just got granted $25 million in seed funding for Minerva, his Ivy-League start-up. Contact him and ask for a job.”

That’s in fact what I will do.    

7 Years Ago Today

Seven years ago today, I found the purpose of life.

Not just MY life, but LIFE ITSELF.

Being an analytical person, I’ve always asked, “why?”

I started asking the BIG questions when I was around sixteen. 

Here’s a little glimpse of where my mind was back then:

1.       If I was born in India, would I still be Catholic?

I grew up Catholic all my life; I kneeled, sat, stood and prayed all throughout my childhood. I went to Catholic elementary school, Catholic high school, and never missed a Sunday with my parents and sister growing up. I was very disillusioned with Catholicism; why was the bible rarely emphasized? It seems as though my catholic faith was more of a cultural upbringing than a personal belief. If I was born in India, I probably wouldn’t be catholic; I probably would be Muslim or Hindi. Why? Because that is the culture and the context I would be raised in. But does not God transcend culture? Is He not greater than culture?

2.       There are so many religions! Which one is the “right one?”

There was a meme that said, “I’m going to hell in every religion.” For the longest time, I was against “organized religion.” God gave us a brain; why would we need to fit ourselves in one of these pre-molded organizations? Doesn't this restrict us? Doesn’t this hinder our growth as human beings, if we are simply to “do this and don’t do that, say this and don’t say that, be this and don’t be that?” I’m an independent thinker! I can think on my own, thank you very much! Jesse Ventura said “Organized religion is a sham and a crutch for weak-minded people who need strength in numbers.” Bono of U2 said, “Religion is what is left when the Spirit has left the room.” So many people kill in the name of their religion. It’s dangerous! Why would I want to be a part of that? You can have religion. I’m fine without it. I would rather live life to the fullest, respect all people, and treat others the way I want to be treated. That makes more sense to me. Simple.

      

3.       What if I study all the religions, and live by the thread that weaves them all?

The Golden Rule: Do unto others the way you would have do unto you. Love people. Treat all people with dignity and respect. Karma: what goes around comes around. You reap what you sow. 

4.       Doesn’t “organized religion” divide us more than unite us?

Sunday is the most divided day of the week. Everyone across the globe gathers to their own places of worship, whether it be a church, synagogue, temple, or tv set. I’d rather spend my Sunday volunteering at a soup kitchen or something. Why sit and listen to someone preach to me for an hour while I could use that hour actually applying what is preached?

5.       How valid is the Bible? Isn’t it just a bunch of stories written by man?

We’ve all played the game of “telephone” – take a bunch of people in a room, whisper a message to one person, have that person whisper to the next person, and voila! You went from “Mary had a little lamb,” to “The cow jumped over the moon.” - a completely different story, with a completely different subject and predicate. This brings up the question, “Did Jesus really exist?”

6.       If God is love, and He is our Father in heaven who loves us, why would He send His children to hell?

Is hell even real? Is heaven real for that matter? I finally got the answer to this question after many years: Hell is not meant for you. It’s meant for Satan. The problem is, so many of us choose to listen to the devil instead of Jesus that we send ourselves there, not God. 

7.       Is there such thing as true humility?

As human beings, we are selfish by nature. Don’t believe me? When you look at a photo with you in a group, who do you look for first? You, or the group? Exactly. However altruistic we try to be, our nature is always to look out for numero uno. With that being said, is it possible to be truly selfless? Could it be that humility is just another form of pride? 

8.       Did Jesus really exist? Who was He? What was His mission?

I read somewhere that there was more proof of Abraham Lincoln’s existence than Jesus’. Interesting.

9.       What is love?

Baby, don’t hurt me.. no more. Agape. Philia. Eros.

10.   What is the purpose of life?

Existentialism? Nihilism? New Age? “To become the next Greatest Version of the Grandest Vision of Who I Really Am” Neale Donald Walsh “You Only Live Once” Drake “You are what you repeatedly do.” Aristotle “Love your life” “Life is not about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself” Coffee Mug “Free yourself from yourself” Nick H “Salvation lies within.” Shawshank Redemption “You are in control of your destiny” “Trust in yourself” “Self Reliance” Emerson Leave your legacy. Make a dent on this earth.

These sayings sound nice, but they are all driven by the self, which is driven by ego. Ego is selfish by nature, so how could one truly love each other if we are doing it for our own personal gain?

I spent a lot of time in my adolescent years seeking the answers to these questions. I would talk to “religious people,” but a lot of these people just followed their religion blindly and/or didn’t have the answers themselves. To me, I didn’t understand how you can truly believe what you believe unless you really ask “why?” 

Which leads me to my answer.

I found the answer in a book entitled The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. On September 25^th, 2005 I read these words:

It’s not about you.

The purpose of your life is far greater than

your own personal fulfillment, your peace of

mind, or even your happiness. It’s far greater

than your family, your career, or even your

wildest dreams and ambitions. If you want to

know why you were placed on this planet, you

must begin with God. You were born by his

purpose and for his purpose.

The search for the purpose of life has puzzled

people for thousands of years. That’s because

we typically begin at the wrong starting point—

ourselves. We ask self-centered questions like,

“What do I want to be? What should I do with

my life? What are my goals, my ambitions, my

dreams for my future?”

But focusing on ourselves will never reveal

our life’s purpose. The Bible says, “It is God

who directs the lives of his creatures; everyone’s

life is in his power.”1

“It’s not about you,” was the first four words in the first chapter. “The purpose of my life is not about me? How does that make any sense?” For you to know the purpose of your life, you can’t start with yourself, you have to start with God.” Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “Plans not to hurt or harm you, but to give you a hope and a future.” God has a plan for me?? It’s in the Bible?? I never heard that before! That is such a relief, because before that, I thought I had to figure out on own! Needless to say, that first paragraph captured my attention, and for the past seven years I’ve been able to live my life with extreme confidence, finally knowing the answer to these ten questions I have asked since I was sixteen. This is such a weighty topic, and one blog posting does not thoroughly illustrate my point of view in depth, so I may have to revisit this topic again in the future. In the meantime, please think deeply on this posting, as it has been the result of fourteen years of asking, seeking, and knocking. Meditate on it, and be blessed!