In his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, the late Steven Covey illustrates the third habit, put first things first, using the analogy of filling a jar with rocks. In order to completely fill the jar, one must start with the big rocks first. Next comes the smaller rocks. After that, one must fill the jar with sand. Once the sand reaches the top, one must fill the jar with water. Then and only then will the jar be completely filled. What is important to note is the order in which this is done. The jar cannot be filled by starting with water, then sand, then small rocks, then big rocks; eventually the big rocks will not be able to fit at all. The question Mr. Covey poses his readers is, "What are the 'big rocks' in your life?"
One of the great lessons I learned in 2012 is to plan everything as far in advance as possible. I learned to be more "gold" (see my blog post entitled, Ten Things I Learned in 2012). In being more "gold," I am being more time and task-oriented, more strategic, more detailed, and more prepared. Here are the six "big rocks" in my life:
1. FAITH
2. FITNESS
3. FAMILY
4. FRIENDS
5. FINANCES
6. FUN
1. FAITH. Faith is my biggest rock, and I urge it to be everyone's biggest rock as well. The whole purpose of life is to be in relationship with God. Everything else is meaningless (the entire book of Ecclesiastes talks about this.) Hebrews chapter 11 is filled with examples of people God used for His purpose and glory because of their faith. In fact, "Without faith it is impossible to please God." (Hebrews 11:6). He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. (Psalm 62:2).
2. FITNESS. Fitness is my second biggest rock. Steve Jobs literally had more money than the US government, but even with all that money he could not buy back his health. What good is money if you don't have the health to enjoy it? Now that I am in my thirties, I see more of the value of taking care of my body. In my twenties, I used to go to gym to get buff; now I just go to the gym to not die! Someone once asked me, "how often does an average person change cars?" I answered, "maybe once every five years," He then asked, "If you were only given one car for your entire life, how differently would you treat it?" "Very differently," I replied. "The same is with your body; you're only given one. How do you treat it now, and how differently would you treat it, with the new revelation that this is the only one you have for the rest of your life?" Needless to say, it was a good wake-up call for me.
3. FAMILY. Family is my third rock. Originally I considered "finances" as my third, but I realized that friends are more valuable than money, and family is more valuable than friends. You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family. Last year I had a huge revelation of the value of "honoring your parents." Last year I made the decision to go back to school to honor God, to honor myself, to honor my family, and to honor posterity. Last year I was so excited to go back to school. Now, as 2013 is beginning and with my first quarter completed, I am even more excited to return and strike out again. There is saying that says, "blood is thicker than water." Family is so important because it provides a sense of support, safety, security, and success (in terms of succeeding a family name).
4. FRIENDS. "How many of us have them?" So goes the verse by 80's rap group Whodini. The motto of personal finance guru Suze Orman is: "People first, then money, then things." This is true. I take it a step further and say, "God first, then people, then money." Comedian Dave Chappelle was recently interviewed by James Lipton on Inside The Actor's Studio and said these words:
"Hollywood is a very powerful illusion…. What about my
family? What about my friends? Whatever happened to my friends? I don’t even have any friends! People don’t understand it, so they call me crazy, and I
don’t like that... I like people, I like entertaining, but it seems the higher
up I go, the less happy I am... I want to live a more open life… but that’s what happens
when you become successful. Your humanity diminishes, and you become something
else to people."
Money is very important, but not as important as friends. In fact with the right friends and the right business idea you can actually make money.
5. FINANCES. Finances are extremely important. The late Zig Ziglar said, "Money isn't the most important thing in the world, but it rates up there with oxygen. In fact, people who say 'I'm not interested in money' probably lie about other things too." Business expert Robert Kiyosaki says, "Money isn't the most important thing in the world, but it affects every that is important." This is very true. People with more money can give more to charity, have access to better fitness, better education, afford better food, and have less limitations than people without. Given, it does not replace one's faith, fitness, family or friends, but it does affect all those areas. Last year, I was challenged to live by the 15/15/70 rule, which is to give 15% to God, save 15% myself, and live off the remaining 70%. I was very hesitant at first and very challenged. In fact, I was so challenged that I only followed it a few months out of the year. The fact that I am not much in a different financial situation this year than last is due to my failure in obeying the path laid out before me. What I am striving for in 2013 and for the rest of my life is excellence in stewarding my finances, so that I may increase my manner of means in all those areas, including my sixth big rock, which is "Fun."
6. FUN. The last on my priority list is fun. It is good to have fun, but not at the expense of the previous five. Even if I don't get to this last priority, it wouldn't break me. This would be the equivalent of pouring the water inside the proverbial jar; my big rocks are in, my small rocks are in, the sand is in, and all that's left is the water, the icing on the cake. Even without the water, the jar is very full, and very effectively positioned. Fun is good, and everyone has their own idea of what is fun to them. Because I think big, my idea of fun would involve all five of my "rocks." With my family and friends I would live to:
Watch the sunset over Maccu Piccu. Spend a summer at a villa in Tuscany. Deep sea dive off the coast of Australia's Great Coral Reef. See the Northern Lights in Sweden...
Life has so many things to offer. If you have lost inspiration for things to do and places to go in life, I'm sure that pinterest.com would quickly inspire you to do more things and go more places. For a lot of us, however, the challenge lies in two areas: time and money. When we are young many of us have all the time in the world, but no money to enjoy our time. When we get older some of us have more money but less time. The sad thing is that many of us are older and still have no money and no time. True freedom is when we have time and money together. One could be free in the spirit, but slaves financially. I believe we are truly not free until we are free in all areas. The good thing is (and the Good News is) that as we put the Big Rock of FAITH in our jar first, it will pave the way for abundance in all the other areas. Jesus said "Seek first My Kingdom and My righteousness and all this will be added to you (Matt 6:33)." This is not to say that worshiping Jesus will instantly guarantee you worldly riches; far from it. The wealth of the gospel is not to be confused with the gospel of wealth. It is simply saying that God knows our needs, and as we keep Him as our Big Rock, we suddenly find ourselves in a state of "not wanting," in a state of faith knowing "He supplies all my needs according to His riches in glory (Phil 4:19)."
Having said all this, I am ecstatic over 2013, because I know what my Big Rocks are, and I am already putting them in place. May we all identify what's necessary in our proverbial jar, and fill up 2013 to its fullest!
"Moon-letters are rune-letters, but you cannot see them," said Elrond, "not when you look straight at them. They can only be seen when the moon shines behind them, and what is more, with the more cunning sort it must be a moon of the same shape and season as the day when they were written. They are runes but can only be read in the moonlight."
