1. Honor
Your Parents.
It may seem basic, but this leads to a whole new level of freedom. At this time
last year, my parents pretty much reached the end of their rope in pleading me
to get a higher-paying job. The job I had at the time was fulfilling, but it
still kept me very dependent on them financially. Today I am working as
full-time student by day and a part-time employee by night. When I made the
conscious decision to honor my parents earlier this year, my pastor said “I
believe that God will make a way for you to honor Him and honor your parents at
the same time.” Three days later the next ten years of my life was revealed to
me in the way of education reform, through the path of schooling. This work
belongs to me. My mantra of “I love learning but I hate school” has been the
paradox I have lived with all my life. To make the decision to go back to
school and finish was a decision based on honoring God, honoring my parents,
honoring myself, and honoring posterity. The
future will be in order when I myself am in order. My motivation for
finishing school is not as much for the sake of job security but moreso for the
sake of professional credibility. I chose sociology for my BA because I love
people and I love understanding people. Martin Luther King, Jr. got his BA in
sociology before getting his Ph.D in systematic theology and revolutionizing
the world. Yes, I am in school to honor my parents, but in doing so I am also honoring
myself and honoring my destiny to reform education.
2.The Value of School. Ever since I was in third grade, I knew there was something wrong with this system. Why is it that some people can leave school and become millionaires – even billionaires – while the rest graduate and end up working for the millionaires and billionaires? As a young man in my twenties I swore I was never going to spend my life working for someone else, building their dream instead of my own. Now at thirty-one I am back at school. It may seem like a contradiction to one of my core values, but it also may be a sign of maturity. I went back to school because in February of this year I was asked, “Where do you see yourself in ten years?” I used to think of that question a lot, but for the past seven years I stopped. To make a long story short, in ten years I would love to be the head of the Department of Education, or in some other way make changes to the way our country educates our students. There is a sense of credibility that school brings. Either way, it is good to be a product of the system before I help reform it.
4. P.Cleaveland: “People around you are more at ease when they know where you are going.” Pastor Cleaveland was a guest speaker at my church last year, and he said some things that really stuck to me. Although he said this in 2011 it really manifested in my life this year. As a young man who refuses to devote my life to mediocrity, I am often faced with challenges from people who don’t know where I’m going, where I’m headed, or what my motivations are. I could be at ease with myself all I want, but if the people around me are not at ease as well then there is an unsettledness about things. When I answered the question I was posed with in February of this year, something magical happened. It seemed as though what was in my head and heart was finally being seen by those around me. More people understood who I was and where I was going. They were more at ease. Not only that but doors began to open that were once shut. “People want to know where you are going before you get there.” This is also true with traffic laws. When we are driving behind a car in front of us, we want them to signal before they turn, preferably many feet in advance especially if they are driving particularly fast. This gives us time to adjust, to prepare, and to make our move accordingly. This year, I learned that the same goes with life.
Green: analytical
Blue: emotional
Orange: fun
Gold: organized
Shark: handles conflict in a cold way,
with no regard to empathy.
Teddy Bear: a people-pleaser; does not like
making enemies.
Turtle: hides in the face of conflict.
Fox: is not afraid of conflict,
always handles it in a diplomatic, strategic manner.
9. Be Aware of Your Strengths, But Don’t Depend on Them. So far three of the eight things I have learned this year have been based on knowing my personality letters, personality colors, and my conflict-style animal. One of the biggest things I have learned this year was being aware of my strengths, but not depending on them. This is what I mean: as a recovering ENFJ, I have been very outgoing and gregarious, proactive in building relationships and seeking the improvement of maintaining them. In thirty-one years, my realm of direct influence has reached approximate-ly 2,200 people (including people I grew up with, people I went to school with, former co-workers, current co-workers, friends, family, relatives, business associates, etc.). That’s a lot of people. One of my main strengths is the ability to connect with people and the ability to build networks. I’m a networker. Having said that, one would think that a networker with that much influence would be able to find a job in no time. This year, such was not the case. I left my full-time job at the church in February, seeking employment every day, tapping my network, utilizing resources, and yet I have only now just landed a secure part-time job, which is turning out to be not as secure as I expected. The fact is I was very confident in knowing many people in high places, but despite that fact doors continued to remain closed to me. It was not that I could not open some of them; I did. Those doors unfortunately led to rooms that were not meant for me to stay in. From February to October doors would open and doors would close. One of my favorite tv shows growing up was Perfect Strangers with Larry Appleton and Balki Bartakomus. In the introduction of the show, Larry and Balki entered a building’s revolving door only to end up right back out. For me much of 2012 was characterized by that revolving door: eight months of job-hunting only to be released again. Each job chipped away at my confidence, lowered more of my standards, and drained more of my ego. Finally in the third quarter of the year I was able to maintain a job I could do well in with a company I respect. The lesson I learned in all of this is this:
“Let
not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or
the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that
he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord,
who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I
delight,” declares the Lord (Jer 9:23-24).
The enemy always attacks you in your
place of strength. Networking is a
strength that I have, but that strength did not lead me to where I wanted to
go. My eight months of effort led me to a closer revelation of God, that He is
not just one who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, but He
is one who is my provider. The term “Lord” is old english for “loaf ward” or
“keeper of the bread.” Many of us believe that we provide our own bread, when
in fact it is the Lord who gives us the ability to make the bread. As we honor
Him, He makes ways for us to be provided for in ways we do not expect. I
learned not to depend on my strengths, but to depend on God. “He who trusts in himself is a fool,
but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe.” (Prov 28:26) I am learning not to be a fool. In 2013 I determine not to be. Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. As I walk in wisdom, I am kept safe.
10. The Value of Reputation. I used to think that I did not care
what people thought about me. I have grown to learn that in fact, I do care,
very much so. People who say they don’t care what people think about them
probably lie about other things too. The reality is we do care. If not, many of
us would go around for weeks and months without showering, putting on clothes,
and (for ladies) putting on makeup. We do care what people think about us. What
is important is learning to be the type of person whose reputation precedes
you. “A good name is more desirable than great
riches;
to be esteemed is better than
silver or gold” (Prov 22:1). We live in a day and age where everyone wants to
share everything to the whole world, in many different media platforms, beit
Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, etc. The lifeblood of being in
business nowadays feeds off reputation. A customer’s review on Yelp can make or
break a company. A customer’s feedback on eBay will determine your value as an
entrepreneur in e-commerce. Reputation can be a two-edged sword. If you are
reading this and realize that you have a reputation for something you would
rather change, the good news is that you can! Everyone can. Sure, it’s not
easy. It may be like trying to turn the Titanic right when it has been going
left this whole time, but it’s not impossible. The iceberg can be avoided. In
fact, the Titanic reputation of your life is based upon whatever choices you
made in the past. The future is still ahead and the choice is still up to you
whether you sink or sail. For me, I want 2013 to be better than 2012, and I am
deciding today to make sure that it is so. This year I learned that I was a
Blue, INFP, Turtle-Teddy Bear. Next year I want to begin a new reputation of
being a Gold, ENFJ, Fox and I have already made steps to do so. but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe.” (Prov 28:26) I am learning not to be a fool. In 2013 I determine not to be. Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. As I walk in wisdom, I am kept safe.
