Ten Things I Learned In 2012

1. Honor Your Parents. It may seem basic, but this leads to a whole new level of freedom. At this time last year, my parents pretty much reached the end of their rope in pleading me to get a higher-paying job. The job I had at the time was fulfilling, but it still kept me very dependent on them financially. Today I am working as full-time student by day and a part-time employee by night. When I made the conscious decision to honor my parents earlier this year, my pastor said “I believe that God will make a way for you to honor Him and honor your parents at the same time.” Three days later the next ten years of my life was revealed to me in the way of education reform, through the path of schooling. This work belongs to me. My mantra of “I love learning but I hate school” has been the paradox I have lived with all my life. To make the decision to go back to school and finish was a decision based on honoring God, honoring my parents, honoring myself, and honoring posterity. The future will be in order when I myself am in order. My motivation for finishing school is not as much for the sake of job security but moreso for the sake of professional credibility. I chose sociology for my BA because I love people and I love understanding people. Martin Luther King, Jr. got his BA in sociology before getting his Ph.D in systematic theology and revolutionizing the world. Yes, I am in school to honor my parents, but in doing so I am also honoring myself and honoring my destiny to reform education.

2.The Value of School. Ever since I was in third grade, I knew there was something wrong with this system. Why is it that some people can leave school and become millionaires – even billionaires – while the rest graduate and end up working for the millionaires and billionaires? As a young man in my twenties I swore I was never going to spend my life working for someone else, building their dream instead of my own. Now at thirty-one I am back at school. It may seem like a contradiction to one of my core values, but it also may be a sign of maturity. I went back to school because in February of this year I was asked, “Where do you see yourself in ten years?” I used to think of that question a lot, but for the past seven years I stopped. To make a long story short, in ten years I would love to be the head of the Department of Education, or in some other way make changes to the way our country educates our students. There is a sense of credibility that school brings. Either way, it is good to be a product of the system before I help reform it.

3. The Value of Work. Some people say that the harder you work, the more money you’ll make. If this were true, many of the janitors around the world would be millionaires. The fact is there is no correlation between how hard you work on a job and how much money you have in the bank. The correlation is between how many assets you have in your portfolio that is working hard for you, whether you work or not. This is why Justin Beiber can work hard one time on one album and make millions of dollars instead of clocking in and out forty hours a week and get pennies. Having said that, I learned that if you don’t have a plan to collect your asset of choice (or for whatever reason not willing to collect your asset of choice) then it is better to join the rat-race, “pass go and collect $200” every two weeks like any other respectable citizen until you find the determination and boldness to do so.  


4. P.Cleaveland: “People around you are more at ease when they know where you are going.” Pastor Cleaveland was a guest speaker at my church last year, and he said some things that really stuck to me. Although he said this in 2011 it really manifested in my life this year. As a young man who refuses to devote my life to mediocrity, I am often faced with challenges from people who don’t know where I’m going, where I’m headed, or what my motivations are. I could be at ease with myself all I want, but if the people around me are not at ease as well then there is an unsettledness about things. When I answered the question I was posed with in February of this year, something magical happened. It seemed as though what was in my head and heart was finally being seen by those around me. More people understood who I was and where I was going. They were more at ease. Not only that but doors began to open that were once shut. “People want to know where you are going before you get there.” This is also true with traffic laws. When we are driving behind a car in front of us, we want them to signal before they turn, preferably many feet in advance especially if they are driving particularly fast. This gives us time to adjust, to prepare, and to make our move accordingly. This year, I learned that the same goes with life. 

5. Knowing Your Personality Letters. I have taken the Myers-Briggs personality test many years ago, and I was happy with my result: ENFJ – Extrovert, iNtuition, Feeling, Judging. This is a great combination, especially to those in leadership. This year however, I took it again and I was very surprised, even shocked. I went from ENFJ to INFP! Introvert, iNtuition, Feeling, Perceiving. Upon reflecting I realized that when I was an ENFJ I was in school in a very structured and accountable environment. I realized that that environment effected my confidence and self-esteem because my progress was measurable. It was only when I placed myself outside of the realm of accountability where I became less effective. Now that I realize this I prefer being in an accountable environment (i.e. going to school and going to work) because it helps me be more confident and effective.

6. Knowing Your Personality Color. In the summer of this year I staffed at National Teen Leadership Program, one of my favorite leadership camps I am honored to be a part of. One particular exercise we did was Personality Colors. This is a powerful workshop that helps you understand how you are, how others are, and how to work better as a team:

                                        Green: analytical

                                        Blue: emotional

                                       Orange: fun

                                       Gold: organized

I learned that I was Blue, but moreso I learned that I want to be more Gold. The exercise revealed something about myself but also gave me something to shoot for as I seek to improve myself. I thank Laura Segura and Sophia Coria for this wonderful workshop. 2013 will be a Gold year for me. =)

7. Knowing Your Conflict-Resolution Animal. In the fall of this year I attended a leadership seminar at CSUEB. It was better than I expected. One of the workshops I went to correlated with the Personality Color workshop I attended a few months prior. This exercise however, taught me about conflict-resolution and different ways of handling them. Each style has its own animal:

                   Shark: handles conflict in a cold way, with no regard to empathy.

                  Teddy Bear: a people-pleaser; does not like making enemies.

                  Turtle: hides in the face of conflict.

                 Fox: is not afraid of conflict, always handles it in a diplomatic, strategic manner.

I learned that I was a Teddy Bear / Turtle, and I don’t like it. I want to be more like a Fox, and 2013 may serve as a great year to do so.

8. Paolo Friere: “If the work does not belong to them, the person cannot be fulfilled.” At NTLP I met Calvin Terrell, an incredibly well-cultured speaker and revolutionary. When I expressed to him my passion of education reform, he recommended the book Pedagogy of the Oppressed by Paolo Friere. One of the lessons I learned from that book was the importance of doing work that is important to yourself. In the past few years I worked as a medical assistant and a ministry leader, and now I am currently working as a full-time student by day and part-time employee by night. I believe that reforming education is a work the belongs to me, and I am so excited to devote a good portion of my life to making sure that work gets done.


9. Be Aware of Your Strengths, But Don’t Depend on Them. So far three of the eight things I have learned this year have been based on knowing my personality letters, personality colors, and my conflict-style animal. One of the biggest things I have learned this year was being aware of my strengths, but not depending on them. This is what I mean: as a recovering ENFJ, I have been very outgoing and gregarious, proactive in building relationships and seeking the improvement of maintaining them. In thirty-one years, my realm of direct influence has reached approximate-ly 2,200 people (including people I grew up with, people I went to school with, former co-workers, current co-workers, friends, family, relatives, business associates, etc.). That’s a lot of people. One of my main strengths is the ability to connect with people and the ability to build networks. I’m a networker. Having said that, one would think that a networker with that much influence would be able to find a job in no time. This year, such was not the case. I left my full-time job at the church in February, seeking employment every day, tapping my network, utilizing resources, and yet I have only now just landed a secure part-time job, which is turning out to be not as secure as I expected. The fact is I was very confident in knowing many people in high places, but despite that fact doors continued to remain closed to me. It was not that I could not open some of them; I did. Those doors unfortunately led to rooms that were not meant for me to stay in. From February to October doors would open and doors would close. One of my favorite tv shows growing up was Perfect Strangers with Larry Appleton and Balki Bartakomus. In the introduction of the show, Larry and Balki entered a building’s revolving door only to end up right back out. For me much of 2012 was characterized by that revolving door: eight months of job-hunting only to be released again. Each job chipped away at my confidence, lowered more of my standards, and drained more of my ego. Finally in the third quarter of the year I was able to maintain a job I could do well in with a company I respect. The lesson I learned in all of this is this:

“Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,” declares the Lord (Jer 9:23-24).  

The enemy always attacks you in your place of strength.  Networking is a strength that I have, but that strength did not lead me to where I wanted to go. My eight months of effort led me to a closer revelation of God, that He is not just one who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, but He is one who is my provider. The term “Lord” is old english for “loaf ward” or “keeper of the bread.” Many of us believe that we provide our own bread, when in fact it is the Lord who gives us the ability to make the bread. As we honor Him, He makes ways for us to be provided for in ways we do not expect. I learned not to depend on my strengths, but to depend on God. “He who trusts in himself is a fool,
but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe.” (Prov 28:26)  I am learning not to be a fool. In 2013 I determine not to be. Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. As I walk in wisdom, I am kept safe.

10.  The Value of Reputation. I used to think that I did not care what people thought about me. I have grown to learn that in fact, I do care, very much so. People who say they don’t care what people think about them probably lie about other things too. The reality is we do care. If not, many of us would go around for weeks and months without showering, putting on clothes, and (for ladies) putting on makeup. We do care what people think about us. What is important is learning to be the type of person whose reputation precedes you. “A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold” (Prov 22:1). We live in a day and age where everyone wants to share everything to the whole world, in many different media platforms, beit Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, etc. The lifeblood of being in business nowadays feeds off reputation. A customer’s review on Yelp can make or break a company. A customer’s feedback on eBay will determine your value as an entrepreneur in e-commerce. Reputation can be a two-edged sword. If you are reading this and realize that you have a reputation for something you would rather change, the good news is that you can! Everyone can. Sure, it’s not easy. It may be like trying to turn the Titanic right when it has been going left this whole time, but it’s not impossible. The iceberg can be avoided. In fact, the Titanic reputation of your life is based upon whatever choices you made in the past. The future is still ahead and the choice is still up to you whether you sink or sail. For me, I want 2013 to be better than 2012, and I am deciding today to make sure that it is so. This year I learned that I was a Blue, INFP, Turtle-Teddy Bear. Next year I want to begin a new reputation of being a Gold, ENFJ, Fox and I have already made steps to do so.