Giving Me The Eye

  

"The lamp of the body is the eye; if therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. If therefore your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness."Matt 6:22-23 (NKJV)

This was the first scripture I memorized when I was new to my faith. I remember being very skeptical about the bible at the time, questioning everything it said. After nine years of trying to decipher the text, I just gave up. 

Shortly after that, I attended a real estate seminar in which the speaker made $100,000 in ten months:

"You have to run this business like you are on a mission. You have to run your life like you were on a mission, and you can't be afraid of offending people. Anyone who did anything great always had enemies: Gandhi had enemies, Martin Luther King had enemies, JFK had enemies. Jesus Christ was on a mission, and He offended a lot of people, and He was perfect."

My jaw dropped. I could not believe what I had just heard. There I was, having given up on the bible, growing up catholic but absent from church for the past three years, not wanting to belong to any type of "organized religion," having doubts about Christianity, and I hear this. There I was trying to learn how to get rich quick, and instead I hear the gospel of Jesus Christ. I don't remember anything else from that seminar, but I do remember that I went home that day, found my bible, dusted it off, and gave it one for shot (note: I did not use that message as an excuse to begin offending people left and right; I used it to begin reading the bible again!).

That was the beginning of my first year walking with the Lord.

I went home that day asking two questions:

1. Who was Jesus, and

2. What was His mission?

Before, I would read the bible just to "figure it out," to unlock the code, and somehow decipher it. This time, I read the bible seeking to know Jesus.

Growing up catholic, my family and I went to church every Sunday, and as far as recall, we never really missed. We were literally there religiously. I went to catholic elementary school and catholic high school, but after all those years I still did not know the answer to those simple questions (please note: this is not to demean my catholic upbringing in any way; I still attend catholic church at times and will be attending a catholic charismatic retreat this summer).  This time, I was determined to find out.

In reading the bible, I used to just flip through any random part and begin reading. Needless to say, I don't remember understanding a lot of it. This time however, I started in the New Testament with what Jesus said, with only the red words:

"The lamp of the body is the eye; if therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. If therefore your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness."

"That makes sense," I thought to myself. Each time I interact with people while looking them in the eye, nine times out of ten I get a pleasant encounter. Whenever I avoided eye contact with people, it was usually because I was ashamed, embarrassed or depressed.

"The lamp of the body is the eye..." This is true! I immediately underlined it in my bible; it was the first scripture I highlighted, and was the first scripture I memorized. "What else did Jesus teach?" I read some more. And some more. And some more. I read until I read everything Jesus said. A lot of the things I did not understand, but the things I did understand made complete sense to me. Later on that year, I began meeting more Christians and attending different churches until I found my church home in December 2005. 

When I found the Lord that year, obviously people everywhere noticed. I just wasn't the same; I was excited all the time, hopeful, and extra-engaging. One particular friend of mine took notice and was flabbergasted. She and I were on a similar agnostic path before this all happened and was just stunned. I told her that I was doubtful at first too, but when I read Matthew 6:22 it just made sense!

"Interesting," she said. "I''l have to try that." The following day I get a text from her saying, "It works!" Apparently, while taking BART to work she made eye contact with several different people. Immediately, the natural reaction was to give a faint smile of acknowledgment. She went to Starbucks that day and made eye contact with the barista, when normally she would just look at the menu and order. This time she looked her in the eye, smiled, and felt good inside (I have not heard back from her since this conversation, but hopefully she has continued the effort).

I decided to share this story because today something similar happened to a friend of mine. "I know something is changing in me," he began, "because I'm beginning to do something different; I'm starting to look people in the eye now." 

It may seem like an insignificant gesture to many people, but to some, the simple act of making eye contact is as difficult as pulling teeth. I told my friend this story today, and I am sharing it with you because I believe that doing something as simple as making eye contact in one's daily life could be the first step in fulfilling one's destiny. 

Go ahead. Make eye contact today. If your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. If your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. I want to be full of light; life's too grand to waste it in the dark.

The Next 10 Years

Last month my pastor Benjamin Robinson gave a message in which he was praying to the Lord to show him where to find a lot with parking space big enough to accommodate our growing congregation. He cried out, “Lord show it to me, show it to me, show me where it is.” My desire was to apply what was taught that day, and so I cried out to God myself saying, “Lord, show me what You want me to ask You for! Show me what You want me to ask You for! Show me what it is! Show me what it is that you want me to ask!” Three days later his wife, Pastor Sunhee Robinson began asking my fellow staff members and me some questions that opened up the next ten years of my life with such clarity, precision, and promise:

“Where do you see yourself in 10 years? How does being on staff here at Living Hope get you to where you’re destined to go?” At first my answer was, “The Ikea building. In ten years, we’ll be in the Ikea building.”

                                      In ten years, WE’LL be in the Ikea building.

The question was, “Where will YOU be in ten years,” and I answered with a response stating where the church will be in ten years. That was my answer.

This goes to show how much I love my church, identify with my church, and embody my church. I equated my future with my church’s future, because I am my church! I came to faith in Jesus Christ in September of 2005, found Living Hope in December 2005, began serving in ministry in January 2006, and never looked back since. The first revelation I got when I received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior was the fact that my life was not about me. In fact, it never has been, and never will be. My life was bought back by the One who created me. Something happened over 2,000 years ago that split time in two, and changed history forever. Jesus hung on a cross with a crown of thorns upon His head and nails on His hands and feet, with blood dripping from His body for the sole purpose of redeeming me to my original created state; a human being in relationship with my Creator, in relationship with my Father. Since then, I surrendered myself to God, gave myself completely to the church, and immersed myself faithfully in ministry (even turning down a job paying $50,000/yr) because of my love and my trust in my newly discovered Savior, Jesus Christ. Accepting Jesus as my Lord and Savior was the single-most crucial decision I ever made and ever will make in my life. Accepting the position to serve my church full-time was the second-best decision. I don’t regret it one bit. =)

With that being said, I then returned back to the question: “Where do you see yourself in ten years?” I watched and listened as my fellow co-workers shared their dreams while our pastors affirmed them. To one: “Yeah, in ten years I see you having your own 501(c)3 and doing conferences worldwide.”

To another: “Yeah, in ten years I see you continuing your battle against human trafficking, but with a codename and high security around you.” Still another: “Yeah, I could see you being successful in creative arts and commanding the industry like Beyonce.”    

“This is all I ever wanted,” was what came out from one of my aforementioned friends. “Really?” I thought. “Wow. What have I always wanted?” As I began seeing my peers’ futures unfold in my mind’s eye, I began to re-think the question, and re-contemplate my answer.  

To be quite honest, when I surrendered my life to Christ, I stopped allowing myself to dream. I thought it was bad, actually. I thought that if I was to serve God wholeheartedly, I had to die to my own passions and desires. I thought that once I got saved, I had to completely empty myself of anything other than God’s will and doing His work on earth as it is in heaven. In a way, that’s true. Actually, it is true. What I didn’t understand until now is that doing God’s will and God’s work doesn’t necessarily mean working full-time in the church and eventually becoming a pastor.  God needs and uses people in different places and in different sectors of the world, not just in the church.

I’ve been working at the church full-time for the past two years, and have served the church for the past six years, and I’ve loved every second of it. In fact, when I was a medical assistant in 2008, all I ever wanted to go to was the house of God, and all I wanted to do was to make calls to follow up with guests that have visited for the first time. At the time, that’s all I wanted to do, and eventually I got the opportunity to do so. A two-year opportunity to do so. The past two years have been a joy, but the next two years are beckoning me toward a different environment.  

In ten years, I don’t see myself being a pastor of a big church, nor do I have a desire to go to bible college or seminary. Granted, I will go out of obedience if I knew for sure that God called me to, but it has never been a burning desire in my heart to do so. My passion was in something else; my dream has revolved around two words: education reform. My lifelong desire has always been to reform the education system. Ever since I learned about Abraham Lincoln and how he taught himself after only three months of formal schooling, and became not only president of the United States but one of the greatest presidents, I’ve always been intrigued by what intrinsically motivates a student to learn, and how best to accommodate that student with their particular learning style. I love learning, but I hate school (yes, hate) because I don’t think that it accurately measures one’s intelligence, nor does it thoroughly prepare a student to succeed in the 21^st century. I’ve always had a passion to reform it, but until now I didn’t think I had permission to. Now, however, I know I do.

So back to the question. Where do I see myself in ten years? I’m thirty now, and in ten years I’ll be forty. In ten years, I would love to be the Head of the Department of Education for California or if I were to dream even bigger, the nation. I’m not really into titles, but if I were, that would be the title I would want. Regardless, title or not, I just care that the work gets done.

This leaves me face to face with my future. The second question was, “How does being on staff get you to where you’re destined to go?” The answer is, it doesn’t. Two years ago, Pastor Benjamin invited me to be on staff full-time. His exact words were: “You have an inheritance here in this house.” I remembered hearing him and smiling, but having no clue what he was talking about. My thoughts were: “Inheritance? He’s got a lump sum of money he’s gonna give me? I don’t understand..” After two years of faithful service, now thankfully, I do: I know my purpose, my identity, my nature, and my mission. I know that I am a son of the King, as well as a son of this house. I am submitted, I am covered, and I have the hearts of my spiritual parents, my spiritual covering.   Being on staff for two years and serving the house for six has completely changed my life, sanctified my mind, developed my skills, and shaped my character. It gave me a well to draw from, a resource to tap into, and a family to grow with. It served as a cocoon for me to incubate in, until it was time for me to be released. I’m so excited to say that that time has come. That time is now.

After speaking with my pastors, I have been fully released to pursue my dream of education reform. Not only are they fully releasing me, but they are sending me with a mutual acknowledgement of the dream in my heart and the call on my life. “You are definitely called,” Pastor Sunhee decreed, “but we just don’t think you’re called to be a senior pastor of a church one day. We think you’re called for something else.” I was and am in full agreement. My home is Living Hope, but my calling is in the marketplace. I’m a son of this house, but by destiny isn’t to stay in this house; my destiny is to give this house away to the world.

If my next ten years is to pursue education reform, then the next few steps for me would be to go back to school and get my BA in either Education or Public Administration, get a full-time job, move out to a place closer to work/school, graduate in 2014, start a charter school and/or connect with other schools, collaborate on reforming the system and/or somehow enter public policy to get the job done. I’ve never had such clarity, and I’ve never been so excited since I was saved in 2005. My dream has been returned to me, restored in a purified form. I feel like I just graduated high school again. I just got saved again. I’m like an immigrant who just stepped foot on American soil, ready to explore what this country is about. 2012 is the year of destiny, the year of stewardship of souls and finances. This year we will all be stepping into our destinies. It is only March, and several people have already embraced theirs. The ball is now in your court. Where will you be in ten years? Are you ready to answer the call? Are you ready to begin? I am. The question is, are you? =)

www.livehope.us