Giving Me The Eye

  

"The lamp of the body is the eye; if therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. If therefore your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness."Matt 6:22-23 (NKJV)

This was the first scripture I memorized when I was new to my faith. I remember being very skeptical about the bible at the time, questioning everything it said. After nine years of trying to decipher the text, I just gave up. 

Shortly after that, I attended a real estate seminar in which the speaker made $100,000 in ten months:

"You have to run this business like you are on a mission. You have to run your life like you were on a mission, and you can't be afraid of offending people. Anyone who did anything great always had enemies: Gandhi had enemies, Martin Luther King had enemies, JFK had enemies. Jesus Christ was on a mission, and He offended a lot of people, and He was perfect."

My jaw dropped. I could not believe what I had just heard. There I was, having given up on the bible, growing up catholic but absent from church for the past three years, not wanting to belong to any type of "organized religion," having doubts about Christianity, and I hear this. There I was trying to learn how to get rich quick, and instead I hear the gospel of Jesus Christ. I don't remember anything else from that seminar, but I do remember that I went home that day, found my bible, dusted it off, and gave it one for shot (note: I did not use that message as an excuse to begin offending people left and right; I used it to begin reading the bible again!).

That was the beginning of my first year walking with the Lord.

I went home that day asking two questions:

1. Who was Jesus, and

2. What was His mission?

Before, I would read the bible just to "figure it out," to unlock the code, and somehow decipher it. This time, I read the bible seeking to know Jesus.

Growing up catholic, my family and I went to church every Sunday, and as far as recall, we never really missed. We were literally there religiously. I went to catholic elementary school and catholic high school, but after all those years I still did not know the answer to those simple questions (please note: this is not to demean my catholic upbringing in any way; I still attend catholic church at times and will be attending a catholic charismatic retreat this summer).  This time, I was determined to find out.

In reading the bible, I used to just flip through any random part and begin reading. Needless to say, I don't remember understanding a lot of it. This time however, I started in the New Testament with what Jesus said, with only the red words:

"The lamp of the body is the eye; if therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. If therefore your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness."

"That makes sense," I thought to myself. Each time I interact with people while looking them in the eye, nine times out of ten I get a pleasant encounter. Whenever I avoided eye contact with people, it was usually because I was ashamed, embarrassed or depressed.

"The lamp of the body is the eye..." This is true! I immediately underlined it in my bible; it was the first scripture I highlighted, and was the first scripture I memorized. "What else did Jesus teach?" I read some more. And some more. And some more. I read until I read everything Jesus said. A lot of the things I did not understand, but the things I did understand made complete sense to me. Later on that year, I began meeting more Christians and attending different churches until I found my church home in December 2005. 

When I found the Lord that year, obviously people everywhere noticed. I just wasn't the same; I was excited all the time, hopeful, and extra-engaging. One particular friend of mine took notice and was flabbergasted. She and I were on a similar agnostic path before this all happened and was just stunned. I told her that I was doubtful at first too, but when I read Matthew 6:22 it just made sense!

"Interesting," she said. "I''l have to try that." The following day I get a text from her saying, "It works!" Apparently, while taking BART to work she made eye contact with several different people. Immediately, the natural reaction was to give a faint smile of acknowledgment. She went to Starbucks that day and made eye contact with the barista, when normally she would just look at the menu and order. This time she looked her in the eye, smiled, and felt good inside (I have not heard back from her since this conversation, but hopefully she has continued the effort).

I decided to share this story because today something similar happened to a friend of mine. "I know something is changing in me," he began, "because I'm beginning to do something different; I'm starting to look people in the eye now." 

It may seem like an insignificant gesture to many people, but to some, the simple act of making eye contact is as difficult as pulling teeth. I told my friend this story today, and I am sharing it with you because I believe that doing something as simple as making eye contact in one's daily life could be the first step in fulfilling one's destiny. 

Go ahead. Make eye contact today. If your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. If your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. I want to be full of light; life's too grand to waste it in the dark.

The Global Positioning System

 

     

A few days ago, a friend and I had lunch together. Catching up as friends do, he asked what I've been up to. For the sake of the post, I will call him "Jake."

Jake: So, what have you been up to lately?

Me: Oh, going to school, going to work.

Jake: Oh, what are you studying?

Me: Sociology.

Jake: Nice. So what are you gonna do after that? Be a counselor?

Me: Actually, I want to start a school. I've been wanting to reform education ever since I was in third grade. I asked the school counselor if I need to get my BA in Education. He said I didn't, and recommended I take sociology. 

Jake: Wow man, that's pretty inspiring! You'll be like Tony Robbins speaking in front of thousands of people with a little "Janet Jackson mic!" 

Me: LOL! Yeah, that's what I imagined. This all started last February when I was asked, "where do you see yourself in 10 years?" After meditating on it for about a month, I realized that I wanted to head toward the direction of education reform; the end goal is to reform education, however lofty and idealistic it may be. John F, Kennedy said, referring to his presidential ideals, "All this will not be finished in the first 100 days. Nor will it be finished in the first 1,000 days, nor in the life of this administration, nor even perhaps in our lifetime on this planet. But let us begin." 

I see the goal-setting aspect of life like a GPS; before I start my car, I enter in my destination. Do I want to go San Francisco? Oakland? LA? Vegas? New York? I decide. In Lewis Carrol's Alice in Wonderland, Alice asked the Cheshire Cat which road she should take. The cat responded, "where do you want to go?" In which Alice replied, "I don't know. It really doesn't matter." Says the cat, "If you don't know where you want to go, then any road will get you there." 

The GPS is a wonderful invention. I honestly don't know how I'd get around without it, and how I ever did get around before I had it. It's amazing;  I can go wherever I want in the country as long as I have a specific address and satellite reception. Not only will I know where to go, but the GPS also tells me how long it will take for me to get there, and the distance it is from where I am to where my destination is. What's even more fascinating is that even when I make a wrong turn, even when I go left when it says, "go right," the GPS doesn't make me feel stupid or condemn me; it simply says, "recaluclating." Given, it  will take me longer to get to my destination, but it doesn't mean that I will never get there. 

I think a lot of us beat ourselves up because we made some mistakes in life, or we made a few wrong turns (or for some, several wrong turns.). Rest assured there is a purpose and plan for you life, and the GPS is already set; for some the reception just needs to reach the satellite. If you are reading this and feel like you are Alice conversing with the Cheshire Cat, send me a message and we can chat. I don't know the specifics of exactly what your destiny entails, but I may be able encourage you in some way.

Jake: Check out what my fortune cookie says...

Me: (reading) "Failing to plan is planning to fail."

With one year down and nine to go, I'm excited for what the future has in store. The future is coming whether you live your dreams or not, so I invite you to live it with me!

10 Items or Less

     I've been working for a popular retail company for six months now, and I've been enjoying it. It's definitely a job that requires a lot of time and task-orientation, which is part of why I chose to work there. I have been learning a lot about customer service, time-management, and conflict-resolution, as well as improving my people-skills on a day-to-day basis.

     I have also learned something new about communication. There are so many different ways to communicate a message. For example when I open up the "10 Items or Less" checklane, I say in a loud voice "10 Items of Less! I can help the next guest!" A lot of times, the customers do not hear me. I speak louder: "I can help the next guest over here!" Still nothing. By now, I have to move out of my lane and physically approach the guests (at our store we refer to our customers as "guests," for a more inviting atmosphere.) and individually tell them that I'm open.

     This experience has taught me the following:

     1. Raising your voice does not necessarily mean that you're improving your communication;
     sometimes you're just raising your voice. It doesn't matter how loud you speak, how bright your 
     colors are, or how great your product is. If your guest cannot hear you, you'll just be in your lane
     by yourself.

     2. If the person you want to communicate with does not or cannot hear you, you may need to
     change your strategy, stop what you're doing and do something different. In my case, I had to
     stop shouting and start approaching.

     3. When you change your strategy, sometimes you need to change your tone. When I began ap-
     proaching each guest, I no longer had to shout. Sometimes I can just gently say, "I'm open over  
     here," and other times all I need to do is make eye contact, wave, and smile. No shouting. No
     hooping, no hollering.  

     It is amazing how one simple experience of opening up a "10 Items of Less" lane can teach me so much about communication. I'm looking forward to applying what I learned at the checklane to my other areas in life.

       

The Sandlot

   In the movie The Sandlot, Benjamin Franklin Rodriguez was the cool kid on the block. Suave, smooth, and debonair, the girls liked him and the guys wanted to be like him. He was cool and charming, but most of all he was great at baseball. 

     Scotty Smalls was the awkward kid in town. Skinny, scrawny, and socially inept, Scotty wanted nothing more than to fit in. His clothes didn't fit and he wasn't up to date with pop culture. He didn't fit in with the rest of the kids, but he wanted to. Not only that, but he really really wanted to play baseball. The only problem was he wasn't very good. He wasn't good at all.

     Benny Rodriguez saw past the awkwardness of Scotty Smalls and gave him a chance. He picked him to be part of the team and guided him very calmly in the sport, assuring him to "just stick out your hand," and "I'll hit it toward you." Sure enough, Benny's home run went straight toward Smalls (straight to his face, but straight toward him nonetheless).

Richmond is a dangerous city to grow up in as a child. I didn't have any friends growing up because it was too dangerous to play outside. My parents didn't play sports so I didn't have anyone to play catch with, and I never knew how to play baseball, basketball, or football. By the time I was in elementary school I was the "Scotty Smalls" in the corner during recess and lunch, not being picked to be on anyone's team because I didn't even know how to play!

     One day, everything changed. Ray Vargas was the "Benny Rodriguez" on campus. He was the popular kid in school, so if you were cool with Ray, you were cool with everybody. Ray would see me on the corner during recess day after day. One particular day he decided to pick me on his team! I couldn't believe it. As the years went on I learned basketball, I joined the team, and eventually became one of the popular kids along-side Ray! My self-esteem got stronger and stronger, until eventually I felt confident enough to run for class president in the 8th grade (which led to Sophomore Class Representative in high school and Junior Class President). As my friendship with Ray developed he even became my campaign manager that year and I ultimately was elected Student Body President of my elementary school. 

   In this age of social media and cyber-bullying, we need more kids like Ray Vargas and Benny Rodriguez. The way a child is treated as a youth plays a huge role in molding their self-esteem. Instead of plastering people all over Twitter and Facebook we should build people up. One small act could change a child's life forever. I know, because I was once a "Scotty Smalls."