NTLP 2015: Plant Your Flag

     Every summer,  I volunteer on staff as a group leader for a national leadership program  for teenagers. It takes place at the Sacramento State campus every last weekend in July, a three-day weekend filled with motivational speakers, diversity workshops, team building activities, ropes courses, and leadership exercises. One hundred seventy-five students are divided into sixteen groups, complete with their own team mascot, team flag, as well as a team cheer that they create as a group.  For many who attend, it continues to be a life-changing experience: prejudices get re-evaluated, paradigms shift, mindsets change, and critical self-evaluation takes place. Students laugh, cry, bond, and learn. Over the course of three short days, one hundred seventy-five students from across America start the weekend as strangers and leave the weekend as family.

  One of the most memorable events that took place this particular weekend came from one of the participants in my group, Tyler. He displayed surprising candor in one of our activities, an activity designed to examine how we as individuals relate to and treat other people in society. In this activity, all the participants’ eyes were closed. One third of them had a round yellow sticker labeled on their forehead. Another third of them had a round green sticker labeled on their forehead. The remaining third of the group had two round stickers on their forehead, one green and one yellow, except for one sole individual. This individual had a red round sticker placed on his forehead, distinguishing himself from all the other groups. This red sticker was assigned to Tyler.

     Once everyone had themselves labeled, they were given the vague instruction to “go to where you belong,” This was to be done in silence, without words. Once the activity started, each person signaled to another person to go to be matched up with their corresponding sticker: red to red, yellow to yellow, and mixed to mixed. While each group was getting bigger and bigger, Tyler was scrambling around the room trying to find where he “fit in,” where he “belonged,” all to no avail. He tried to go into the yellow-dot circle, but they shooed him out. He tried to go into the green-dot circle, but they shook his head. In one last futile attempt, he approached the mixed-dot circle, and they dismissively said, “you don’t belong here.”

     Upon seeing Tyler being marginalized from each group, one girl spoke out with compassion, saying, “we all belong to each other!” After it was clear that everyone had a group, another person said, “where do YOU belong?” What took place after all the round stickers were labeled on each forehead was nothing short of remarkable. Determined, courageous, with tremendous candor and mettle, Tyler ran out of the hallway, darted into our session room, reached for our team flag and, with a fierce look on his face, planted it firm on the ground. “I belong HERE!”

     I was floored.

     Wow. I couldn’t believe he just did that. In one swoop of the arm, Tyler took a social exercise and flipped it on its head. Instead of feeling sorry for himself because he didn’t “fit in” with any particular group, he stood firm, took action, and did not waver in his identity or position. In a way, it was as if he was saying, “I don’t need to belong to any of your groups, you guys need to belong to MY group! I know who I am, I know where I stand, and I am not moving for anyone.”

    One of the perks of being a leader, teacher, or educator of any type is that the teacher learns just as much from the students as the students learn from the teacher. I am thoroughly impressed by the virtues displayed by the participants, most especially by Tyler. If more and more individuals displayed this type of courage, fortitude and resolve, this world would indeed be in good hands. 

NTLP 2012: "The Best Day Ever"

In my last post, I mentioned about the importance of leadership camps. I just returned from staffing at National Teen Leadership Program in Sacramento, California, and my life was made more rich! I met more people, learned more skills, challenged myself, stepped out of my comfort zone, expanded my mind, and re-opened my eyes. I met old friends and made new ones. I re-explored a once familiar environment and familiarized myself with it once again. 150 young adults were awakened, educated, and completely transformed over the course of three days, and I was greatly honored and privileged to be a part of that transformation. This post is a brief synopsis of what I personally got from the weekend.

What constitutes having a great experience? This past weekend, I heard a young man tell his father, “This has been the greatest experience of my life.” I heard another young man say, “This was this best day ever.” A young lady in my group wrote me a note saying, “You… have taught me skills I will use everyday of my life. Thank you so much for giving your time to be here.” 

One definition of the word “experience” is “a particular instance of personally encountering or undergoing something; knowledge or practical wisdom gained from what one has observed, encountered, or undergone.” What these young adults had over these past three days was a true experience. For me, when I think of an experience, it implies a wide gamut of emotions: happy, sad, thrilled, exhilarated, nervous, joyful, amazed, inspired, etc. It is possible to have an experience with just one or two emotions, but when a full spectrum of emotions are turned on from one extreme to another in short amount of time, that definitely creates a memorable experience. In three days, 150 lives were impacted through the efforts of a group of devoted leaders. This is just a taste:

Day 1 – True Leadership. There is a quotation in the I-Ching that states, “The leader is not the one with the most followers; the leaders is the one who duplicates the most leaders.” Right off the bat this was made true for me when I took pride in the fact that two young ladies from the first group I led in 2007 have now become staff leaders four consecutive years in a row. Wow.  This day was about meeting new people with similar interests and reconnecting with seasoned friends. I met people who shared my same faith (Jesus), my same calling (education reform), and my same passion (motivational speaking, societal revolution). Of course, many others did not share all my interests, but I am still able to walk with them hand in hand despite not seeing eye to eye. This day I was introduced to the 11 young men and women that my co-leader and I would teach (there were originally 12, but one did not make it). My fear was that I would have a group of rowdy kids I could not control, but that was far from the case. I was so grateful to have been given the opportunity to invest in the lives of these teens, alongside my co-leader. I told them from the beginning, “You guys are not just teenagers, you’re the future; You are the future businesspeople, doctors, lawyers, accountants, athletes, movie stars, etc. Someone told me that if you want to know the future, spend time with a 15-year old. I’m here because I want to make sure our future is bright.” 

Day 2 – Diversity. When I asked these young men and women about the best part of their weekend, most of them mentioned Day 2. This was “Diversity” day. This was a day in which they were able, just for a moment, to be vulnerable and share what they usually don’t share with anyone. Sharing secrets creates trust, and trust forms bonds. How valuable is it to create a safe environment for people to release their inner fears, struggles, and stories? How much is such a cathartic experience worth? To these young men and women, it was the world. Needless to say, I myself walked away with a renewed sense of gratitude, privilege, and respect for life, and for my parents who nurtured me in it. 

Day 3 – The Beginnings. Al Pacino, in the movie “Scent of a Woman” said, “A minute? Some people live a whole lifetime in a minute.” How about three days? By this time, 150 youth have bonded, laughed, cried, and learned together, as one. This was the final day of camp, but the beginning of something great. This was the beginning of a great future that is ahead of 150 young people, with the world in the palm of their hands. It seemed that most, if not every person had their lives changed this weekend. Mark Twain and I share a same sentiment: “I could live a whole month off a compliment.” Before the camp ended, a young lady from my group handed me a note, her face filled with gratitude. The note summed up all the reasons why I did what I did last week:

Robin,

I’m so glad you were my leader for NTLP my first year. I am so inspired by your job and how you have a big dream that you are working hard to accomplish. You [and our co-leader] taught me skills I will use everyday of my life. Thank you so much for giving your time to be here. I hope to see you next year!

Gary Chapman wrote a book entitled, The 5 Love Languages. One of the 5 languages is Words of Affirmation. These words solidified my role and purpose at NTLP. It was the only note I received, but this note has made all the difference for me. I am writing this entry to inspire and encourage you, my reader, to go and spend time with a 15-year old this weekend. If you are already making the future bright living your own life, imagine how much brighter it will be if you invest in the lives of the future.