'05 til Infinity

      In 2005 I met my pastors Benjamin and Sunhee Robinson at a boba place in El Cerrito. My life has never been the same since. My thirst for knowledge, wisdom, and discernment always get quenched whenever I hear their voices. I have adopted them as my spiritual parents and I hold myself accountable to them in representing Jesus Christ to the world. I respect them as leaders, as ministers, and as two people who love and care for me in all aspects of my life.

When I made the decision to go back to school, P.Sunhee smiled and beamed with pride. “I am at peace with this, and I am excited. This is God.” P.Benjamin also told me recently, “Sunhee and I are personally invested in seeing you graduate, get married, start your career, and enter into your destiny.”

Ten years have come and gone, and I have more love, more support, more accountability than ever before. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life laughing, crying, living and growing with such dedicated, selfless servants of the Most High God.    

Pressure, Power, Pain and Promise

“There's a relationship between your pressure & your power, your pain & your promise. If you get rid of one you're gonna mess up the other.” T.D. Jakes 

   Two days ago I posted this quotation by T.D. Jakes on my Facebook wall. To me, I understood the statement right away. A day later, I received a response asking me to elaborate on it. Here it is, upon request:

                                                                              Pressure & Power

    Imagine that there is a bully that consistently tries to drown you in water but doesn't fully accomplish it. The submersion stretches your lung capacity. One day you see a car plunging into a lake. You immediately jump into the lake and save the mother and children in the car, realizing that the pressure the bully forced upon you actually gave you the power to save that family.

    The word for "pressure" in the Greek is thlipsis. It means "to constrict or rub together, a narrow place that hems someone in." It is also the same term used for "tribulation," an internal pressure that causes someone to feel confined, restricted, and without options.

    The word for "power" in the Greek is dunamis. It means "force, might, and efficacy." It is where we get the word "dynamite" from. In essence, pressure and power work together. Pressure, given the right context, may provide you with the power necessary to overcome any obstacle your way.

                                                                               Pain & Promise

    We are all familiar with the saying, "no pain no gain." Without the pain of working out regularly, I will not receive the promise of a healthy, glorious body.  Without the pain of working in groups with people, daily rigorous study and application, I will not receive the promise of a graduate degree in business.  Without the pain of disciplining myself with healthy financial habits, I will not receive the promise of an abundant financial future that is mine for the taking. 

   Pressure, power, pain and promise. They all work together, and they can all work for us, if we know how to handle them properly. Let us not succumb to pressure; let us overcome it. Let us not be overpowered; let us be filled with power. Let us not give into pain; let us fight through the pain. And let us not squander the promise; let us pursue the promise! Life is too short to live defeated, depressed, disengaged and disillusioned. I, for one, will take the pressure.     

Group Work

   This year I was fortunate enough to take on a challenge that only a select group of people have the privilege to pursue - grad school. Most MBA programs are spread out over two years. The program I enrolled in, however, condensed those two years into one: four quarters, Monday to Thursday, 9am to 12:30pm. At first glance, that type of schedule may have seemed flexible. School was out by noon every day, and there’s no school on Fridays. After completing my first of the four quarters of the program, I have to say that I used every spare minute outside of class buried in a textbook, reviewing PowerPoint slides, reading journal articles, conducting market research, struggling to comprehend mathematical concepts, while balancing group projects for each class. I can honestly say that it has been the most intense eleven weeks I have ever experienced, educationally. With three more quarters to go before graduation, I’m taking this time to reflect, regroup, and re-train my mind toward success.

     “I hate group work.”

     “I can’t stand this person.”

     “This person doesn't do any work.”

     “This person does all the work!”

     “I don’t have any friends here.”

     “I could care less if I don’t see anybody ever again, once we graduate. I’m just trying to be done.”

   These are some of the statements I have heard almost on a daily basis these past few weeks, and I totally understand where they are coming from. As an undergraduate, most of the academic work could be done autonomously, with no group work required. Students could come to class or not, and still get by. Grad school, on the other hand is a whole different story. Here, we have the same twenty-two classmates that we see every single day, and we have to learn how to work with each other, every single day. Many people find it difficult to work with others, but to me, learning how to work with people is one of the most valuable skills one could learn in life, and the sooner you learn it, the more effective and successful you will be.

   With that being said, the following are a few tips that I would give to anyone struggling with doing group work with people:

        Attitude Determines Your Altitude.  What do you see? An optimist looks at a glass half full, a pessimist looks at a glass half empty, while an entrepreneur sees the opportunity to sell half-sized cups! The next time you catch yourself saying, “I hate group work,” ask yourself how you can make the situation work for you.   

See The Good. What you say about other people establishes them in that identity. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss things, small minds discuss people.” The next time you find yourself in a conversation where everyone is gossiping about everyone else, stop and let Mrs. Roosevelt encourage you to elevate your mind from small, to average, to great.      

         Reputation Is Golden. People will talk about you no matter what you say or do. The question is, what are they saying? Are you the type of person that talks about other people behind their back, or are you the type of person that fosters good relationships? Are you the type of person that is known to work hard and give 100%, or are you known as a slacker? Nobody wants to work with a slacker. People want to work with people who are excellent. Let excellence drive your engine, and set yourself up for success.

   People attend graduate school for different reasons. Some people just want to get it done and move on with their lives, other people truly want to learn for learning’s sake, and then there are those who don’t just want to be informed with the knowledge, they want to be transformed by the knowledge. I belong to the latter category. I can’t wave a magic wand and make people join me in that latter category; the best I can do is transform myself and hope that they would be inspired to do the same. Four quarters come and go with the blink of an eye, and I want to make sure that my eye sees everything that it can. 

Kobe & Jordan's Retirement

              

     On November 29^th 2015, Kobe Bryant announced his retirement from the NBA. He did it through social media, and he did it through a poem:

Dear Basketball,

From the moment

I started rolling my dad’s tube socks

And shooting imaginary

Game-winning shots

In the Great Western Forum

I knew one thing was real:

I fell in love with you.

A love so deep I gave you my all —

From my mind & body

To my spirit & soul.

As a six-year-old boy

Deeply in love with you

I never saw the end of the tunnel.

I only saw myself

Running out of one.

And so I ran.

I ran up and down every court

After every loose ball for you.

You asked for my hustle

I gave you my heart

Because it came with so much more.

I played through the sweat and hurt

Not because challenge called me

But because YOU called me.

I did everything for YOU

Because that’s what you do

When someone makes you feel as

Alive as you’ve made me feel.

You gave a six-year-old boy his Laker dream

And I’ll always love you for it.

But I can’t love you obsessively for much longer.

This season is all I have left to give.

My heart can take the pounding

My mind can handle the grind

But my body knows it’s time to say goodbye.

And that’s OK.

I’m ready to let you go.

I want you to know now

So we both can savor every moment we have left together.

The good and the bad.

We have given each other

All that we have. 

And we both know, no matter what I do next

I’ll always be that kid

With the rolled up socks

Garbage can in the corner

:05 seconds on the clock

Ball in my hands.

5 … 4 … 3 … 2 … 1

Love you always,

Kobe

   

     Love him or hate him, Kobe Bryant will always be mentioned in the same sentence with Michael Jordan, simply because he has been the splitting image of His Airness ever since Jordan stepped off the scene with the Chicago Bulls in 1999 (He would later return to play for the Washington Wizards in 2001, but I don’t think many people cared to see him play beyond his prime).

     When Jordan retired in 1999, all I could see was the slow-motion movements of his final shot, the game-winner against Utah. Bob Costas said something like, “here is the greatest player to ever play the game. If this is the last image we will ever get to see, oh what an image it is.” Third Eye Blind’s “How’s It Gonna Be” was playing in the background, and a great sadness fell upon me. “No more Jordan,” is all I could think about. I couldn’t believe it.

     I grew up watching Michael Jordan play, and, like millions of people around the world, was mesmerized by his athleticism. No one had ever seen a man stay in the air for that long, contort his body, change direction in mid-flight, scoring at will. It was incredible. I was ten years old when Jordan won his first championship in 1991, and I never missed a playoff game since. I couldn’t wait to see his next move, his next attack, the next annihilation of his opponent. Gatorade got it right with their commercial, “Be Like Mike,” with the lyrics: “Sometimes I dream, that he is me. You’ve got to see that’s how I dream to be. I dream I move, I dream I groove, like Mike. If I could be like Mike.” That was my mantra. That was my prayer. I didn’t just want to be like Michael Jordan. I wanted to be Michael Jordan.      

     Kobe Bryant entered the scene in 1996 with Jordan preparing to deliver his second three-peat championship barrage. Coming straight out of high school at eighteen years old, Kobe’s skill level was already high, and his style of play was very much Jordan-esque. People didn’t know what to make of this kid. Some people loved him right off the bat. Others, including myself, just kind of brushed him off with a smug, “we’ll see. He plays like Jordan, but can he really be ‘the next Michael Jordan?’” I honestly thought that no one could ever come close to what Michael Jordan accomplished on and off the basketball court. I was wrong. With twenty years in the league, Kobe has already passed up Jordan’s record of 32,292 points with his own 32,844 total points, along with five rings under his belt, two Finals MVP awards, seventeen All-Star appearances, along with many other awards and titles. Michael Jordan will always be the G.O.A.T. (Greatest of All Time), but Kobe Bryant has earned every ounce of respect to be great in his own right.

     With the announcement of Kobe’s retirement, I can’t help but bring back the memories of Jordan’s retirement in 1999. With Jordan retiring that January, and me graduating high school five months later,1999 was a poignant year. It was the end of one era and the beginning of the next. I could no longer revolve my life around Jordan’s next game, or Jordan’s next championship. It was over. It was done. I didn’t realize how much of my life was dedicated to watching Michael Jordan play. He was a basketball god to me. And I worshiped him.

     “Kobe’s cursed just as much as I am,” were the words uttered from Jordan’s mouth, responding to Bryant’s retirement. Kobe and Jordan would give anything to keep playing the game that they love, and we as fans would give anything to watch these two greats battle it out in a never-ending war between 23 and 24. Alas, that could never be. As great as these two men are, no amount of human greatness can compete against Mother Nature and Father Time. In the end, time always wins. The shot clock always runs out.

      

    

         

Back to the Future: Provoking Thoughts

 

     There are so many reasons why I love this movie, but the main ones I want to highlight are the concepts that it had introduced to my life, concepts I probably never would have understood any other way: time travel, “Your Future Self,” “Gray’s Sports Almanac,” and decision-making.

     Time Travel. Who wouldn't want to travel through time? What if you could see yourself thirty years into the future? How would you look like? How would you live? What would you be doing? Almost every successful person I know understands the idea of starting with the end in mind. Architects have the completed building on paper with specific time-frames and a systematized process of bringing it into completion. One of my favorite quotations comes from Henry David Thoreau: “If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, he will meet a success unexpected in common hours.”

     Your Future Self. "If only I knew then what I know now." I'm sure so many of us have felt this way, especially after living a life filled with mistakes. If you could go back in time, what would you tell your “past self?” How much trust would you give to your “future self” if s/he came to you and told you what to do, and what not to do? In a way, that’s how I look at mentorship. I value the wisdom of people who have been down the road I am on, and I challenge myself to receive their instruction as if it were given directly from my “future self.”

     Gray’s Sports Almanac. What would you do if you knew who was going to win every game of every sport in the next fifty years? Bet on the winner? What if you had at book that revealed to you who you are, where you are, and where you’re going? What if you had a book that described the purpose of life, the pitfalls of life, the secrets of success, and gave you hope for the future? I used to to believe that the bible was just a bunch of outdated stories written so long ago for only a certain group of people. But if that wasn't the case? What if the bible really did show you your future? How differently would that change your life?

     Decision Making. You have the ability to create your own future. Every thought, word, and action you make shapes this. What kind of future will it be? Your past does not equal your future. Your past has brought you this point up to now. Every day is a blank canvas, waiting for you to construct the masterpiece of your life. You can choose to let your self-deprecating habits be your downfall, or you can choose to create new habits that will propel you toward the future limited only toward your imagination. The choice is yours.

NTLP 2015: Plant Your Flag

     Every summer,  I volunteer on staff as a group leader for a national leadership program  for teenagers. It takes place at the Sacramento State campus every last weekend in July, a three-day weekend filled with motivational speakers, diversity workshops, team building activities, ropes courses, and leadership exercises. One hundred seventy-five students are divided into sixteen groups, complete with their own team mascot, team flag, as well as a team cheer that they create as a group.  For many who attend, it continues to be a life-changing experience: prejudices get re-evaluated, paradigms shift, mindsets change, and critical self-evaluation takes place. Students laugh, cry, bond, and learn. Over the course of three short days, one hundred seventy-five students from across America start the weekend as strangers and leave the weekend as family.

  One of the most memorable events that took place this particular weekend came from one of the participants in my group, Tyler. He displayed surprising candor in one of our activities, an activity designed to examine how we as individuals relate to and treat other people in society. In this activity, all the participants’ eyes were closed. One third of them had a round yellow sticker labeled on their forehead. Another third of them had a round green sticker labeled on their forehead. The remaining third of the group had two round stickers on their forehead, one green and one yellow, except for one sole individual. This individual had a red round sticker placed on his forehead, distinguishing himself from all the other groups. This red sticker was assigned to Tyler.

     Once everyone had themselves labeled, they were given the vague instruction to “go to where you belong,” This was to be done in silence, without words. Once the activity started, each person signaled to another person to go to be matched up with their corresponding sticker: red to red, yellow to yellow, and mixed to mixed. While each group was getting bigger and bigger, Tyler was scrambling around the room trying to find where he “fit in,” where he “belonged,” all to no avail. He tried to go into the yellow-dot circle, but they shooed him out. He tried to go into the green-dot circle, but they shook his head. In one last futile attempt, he approached the mixed-dot circle, and they dismissively said, “you don’t belong here.”

     Upon seeing Tyler being marginalized from each group, one girl spoke out with compassion, saying, “we all belong to each other!” After it was clear that everyone had a group, another person said, “where do YOU belong?” What took place after all the round stickers were labeled on each forehead was nothing short of remarkable. Determined, courageous, with tremendous candor and mettle, Tyler ran out of the hallway, darted into our session room, reached for our team flag and, with a fierce look on his face, planted it firm on the ground. “I belong HERE!”

     I was floored.

     Wow. I couldn’t believe he just did that. In one swoop of the arm, Tyler took a social exercise and flipped it on its head. Instead of feeling sorry for himself because he didn’t “fit in” with any particular group, he stood firm, took action, and did not waver in his identity or position. In a way, it was as if he was saying, “I don’t need to belong to any of your groups, you guys need to belong to MY group! I know who I am, I know where I stand, and I am not moving for anyone.”

    One of the perks of being a leader, teacher, or educator of any type is that the teacher learns just as much from the students as the students learn from the teacher. I am thoroughly impressed by the virtues displayed by the participants, most especially by Tyler. If more and more individuals displayed this type of courage, fortitude and resolve, this world would indeed be in good hands. 

34

     Today, I turn thirty-four. It seems that after thirty, time just goes faster and faster. At sixteen, I remembered wishing I was eighteen. At eighteen, I wanted to be twenty-one. At twenty-one, I wanted to be twenty-five. Once thirty hit, I remembered thinking about all the things I wanted to accomplish by that age; some of them I achieved, but a lot of them fell short. I thought I’d be rich and married to a beautiful wife; I thought I’d have a boy and a girl, a big house and a couple nice cars. I thought I’d have a flourishing business with multiple streams of income flowing from several different real estate investments. I thought I’d be “playing hopscotch around the world” with my family, going on speaking tours like Anthony Robbins, encouraging people worldwide to change their lives, and motivating employees from Fortune 500 companies to encourage healthy corporate environments. I thought it would happen by now, but it didn't.

      Four years have passed since my thirtieth birthday, and I don’t have a wife or kids, I don’t have a big house with nice cars, I don’t have a flourishing business with multiple streams of income, I don’t have any real estate investments, and I’m not going on any speaking tours around the world.

       I’m thirty-four years old today, and what have I got?

       I have peace. I have love. I have joy. I have (some) wisdom. I have revelation. I have direction. I have faith. I have friends. I have family. I have command of the English language. I have health. I have (some) money.  I have a place to call home. I (still) have dreams. I have goals. I have ambitions. I have a calling. I have a destiny.

       For some people, life goes exactly according to plan. For many of us, however, we are not making what we thought we'd be making, doing the job we are currently doing, at the age we currently are. For many of us, life has been so unpredictable and uncontrollable that we have allowed our poor life-planning strategies, measly goal-setting skills, and bad habits get the best of us. 

        At thirty-four, I want to catch up with the goals that have eluded me. I want to be a better goal-setter. I want to be a reliable accountability partner.  I want to re-commit myself to birthing the dreams inside of me, and I want to finally have my date with destiny. 

        At thirty-four, I believe I will.